Is life without stress really possible?

Healthcaretoday, Dr Kheng Kien Soo, Stress relief, Mental health matters, Wellness, Mindfulness, Stress management, Self care, Self love, Self compassion, Relaxation, stress relief tips,

Is life without stress really possible?

July 14, 2026

Stress is personal. Our experiences, personality, health, and support systems shape how we respond to life's everyday challenges and pressures.

By Dr Kheng Kien Soo,
Family physician, Anti-ageing / Aesthetician;
Clinic Dr Kheng,
Kota Kinabalu, Sabah

Imagine a day without making a single decision. No need to choose what to wear, what to eat, which route to work to take, or how to respond to a colleague. Such a life simply does not exist.

From the moment we wake up until we go to bed, our lives are filled with decisions. Yet, surprisingly, most of these choices do not make us feel stressed. Why?

The answer lies in routine. Through experience, our brains automate many daily tasks, allowing us to conserve mental energy for more important decisions. What once required careful thought becomes second nature.

Stress, therefore, is not created by every decision—but by situations that challenge our ability to cope.

Stress: Friend or foe?
Contrary to popular belief, stress is not always harmful. In fact, the right amount of stress helps us perform at our best.

Athletes call it being "in the zone." Students experience it before examinations. Surgeons rely on it during complex operations. Stress sharpens concentration, increases alertness, and motivates action.

Problems arise only when stress exceeds our ability to manage it.
Think of stress as a rubber band.

Too little tension—and it becomes ineffective.
Too much tension—and it snaps.

Our goal is not to eliminate stress but to achieve the optimal level that enhances performance without causing exhaustion.

Understanding stress
One of the simplest definitions of stress is:
Stress is the balance between external demands and our ability to cope with those demands.

Two people may face the same challenge yet react very differently. Why? Because our response is influenced by many factors, including:

Personality
Previous experiences
Family upbringing
Work environment
Physical health
Emotional resilience
Social support
Financial security

Stress is therefore highly individual.

Personality matters
Every individual approaches life's challenges differently. Although personality is complex, people often display one of two broad behavioral styles.

The tellers
These individuals are generally:

Assertive
Direct
Decisive
Comfortable expressing opinions
Natural leaders

While they often solve problems quickly, they may also experience conflict because of their direct communication style.

The askers
These individuals tend to be:

Thoughtful
Cooperative
Diplomatic
Good listeners
More cautious before making decisions

Although they usually maintain harmonious relationships, they may internalize stress rather than express it openly.

Neither personality is better than the other. Effective stress management begins with understanding your own behavioral style.

Recognizing the warning signs
Stress rarely appears overnight. Our bodies usually send warning signals long before we realize we are overwhelmed.

Physical symptoms

Headaches
Muscle aches
Rapid heartbeat
Shortness of breath
Digestive disturbances
Poor sleep
Persistent fatigue

Emotional symptoms

Irritability
Anxiety
Frustration
Feeling overwhelmed
Low motivation
Difficulty concentrating

Behavioral symptoms

Forgetfulness
Changes in appetite
Social withdrawal
Increased smoking or alcohol intake
Reduced work performance
Frequent arguments

Recognizing these symptoms early allows intervention before stress develops into burnout.

Accept that stress is normal
One of the greatest misconceptions is believing that experiencing stress means we are weak.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Stress is a normal biological response. The key is not avoiding stress—but learning how to respond to it effectively.

Overcoming the aging effects of stress
Dr Hans Selye, the brilliant physician who identified and mapped out the stress response, acknowledged that stress is an unavoidable fact of life. After a lifetime of research on the health effects of stress, Selye ultimately concluded that stress is absolutely necessary to our survival, and even desirable for its ability to enhance our performance.

Every stress leaves an indelible scar, and the organism pay for its survival after a stressful situation by becoming a little older.

But as Selye and later stress researchers concluded, our individual response to stress is the critical factor that determines its impact on our health.

Han Selye 's theory of stress

Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one.
It's not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.

Treating the symptoms of stress just masks the problem
Doctors typically treat stress-related symptoms with everything from sleeping aids and antidepressants to anti anxiety medications. Not only do these drugs carry serious side effects and risks of their own, but none of them addresses the hormonal impact of stress.

Managing stress effectively
Managing stress begins with awareness.
Ask yourself:

What triggered my stress?
What emotions am I experiencing?
What physical symptoms am I noticing?
Which aspects can I control?
Which aspects must I accept?

Once the source has been identified, appropriate coping strategies become much easier.

Healthy ways to cope
Seek emotional support

Talking with someone you trust often reduces emotional burden.
Family members, friends, mentors, or professional counsellors can provide reassurance, perspective, and practical advice.

Remember:
Seeking help is a sign of strength—not weakness.

Identify your stressors
Make a list of current stressors.
For example:

Heavy workload
Financial commitments
Family responsibilities
Relationship conflicts
Health concerns

Then identify positive resources that support you, such as:

Supportive family
Meaningful work
Good friends
Spiritual beliefs
Professional achievements

Focusing on strengths improves resilience.

Three simple relaxation techniques
1. Progressive muscle relaxation
A proven technique that reduces muscle tension.
How to practise:

Tighten one muscle group for 10 seconds.
Release completely.
Notice the difference between tension and relaxation.
Repeat throughout the body.

2. Deep breathing meditation
This can be practised almost anywhere.

Sit comfortably.
Breathe slowly through your nose.
Inhale deeply.
Hold your breath for five seconds.
Exhale slowly.
Repeat several times.

Within minutes, heart rate slows and anxiety decreases.

3. Guided imagery
Allow your mind to visit a peaceful place. Imagine yourself:

Walking along a quiet beach
Listening to waves
Feeling the sea breeze
Smelling fresh ocean air

Engaging all your senses creates a powerful relaxation response.

Managing stress is not about escaping life's pressures. It is about strengthening our capacity to face them.

Healthy lifestyle habits form the foundation of resilience:

Regular physical activity
Adequate sleep (7–9 hours nightly)
Balanced nutrition
Maintaining healthy relationships
Practising mindfulness
Taking regular breaks
Learning to say "no" when necessary

Small daily habits create lasting emotional strength.

The healthcare professional's role
Healthcare professionals face unique stressors—heavy workloads, emotional demands, long working hours, and responsibility for patients' lives. Promoting a culture that encourages open communication, peer support, regular debriefing, and work-life balance is essential for preventing burnout and maintaining high-quality patient care. Organizations should invest not only in clinical excellence but also in the psychological well-being of their workforce.

How well are you coping?
Some people are able to handle a lot of stress; others seem to unravel over relatively minor problems.

A blood test can give you a more precise picture of how well or how poorly your body is coping with stress by looking at the levels of two important hormones:

Cortisol is one of the "fight-or-flight" hormones produced by adrenal glands in response to stress.
Dehydroepiandrosterone (DHEA), which is also produced by the adrenals. Chronic stress tends to deplete DHEA levels.

Beyond stress: adrenal exhaustion
After prolonged stress and prolonged overproduction of cortisol, the adrenals are unable to produce cortisol at all. In general, people with adrenal fatigue find themselves feeling overwhelmed and defeated by even minor challenges.

Extreme fatigue, depression, and lack of motivation are all typical. It's also common to experience periods of anxiety and have trouble relaxing and falling asleep at night.

Adaptogenic herbs
Schodandra ( wu-wwi-zi)
Improves mental coordination and physical endurance, neuroprotective, enhance mitochondrial glutathione status, generates ATP, enhances cognitive functions, eliminates side effects of anti-depressant drugs.

Rhodiola ( rhodiola rosea) or golden roots
Contains salisdroside which suppresses cortisol production and restores sleep after stress. Its tyrosine induces the expression of longevity protein SIRT1, anti-depressive effects, significantly reduces symptoms of fatigue and improved attention, prevents exhaustion and fatigue during work requiring long intensive mental activity, improves cognitive functions during fatigue and in stressful conditions, reduces depressive symptoms.

Panax ginseng with 28 ginsenosides
Increases Adrenocorticotropic hormone (ACTH) secretion, elevates moods, improves physical activity and performance, improves glycosylated hemoglobin, reduces fasting blood sugars and body weight, is anti depressant, anti diabetic, anti hypertensive and has anti cancer properties.

Astragalus
Enhances functions in distressed organs; raises natural killer cells, raises T cells activity and enhances macrophage activity.

Jiaogulan (Gymostemma pentaphyllum)
Bolsters the immune system while enhancing strength and physical endurance, increases anti inflammatory activity, improves fat metabolism and moderates cholesterol levels.

Dehydroepiandrosterone (DHEA)
DHEA levels may be low due to the suppressive effects of ongoing stress or in our natural production of DHEA as we age. Whatever the reason, the goal of DHEA replacement therapy is to restore DHEA levels to youthful or optimal ranges.

For men, 50mg per day or higher is recommended. But women often need less DHEA than men in order to get good results. Some women are exquisitely sensitive to even a small amount of DHEA, and for them, 10mg per day or even 5mg per day is sufficient. The goal is to find the lowest dose that is effective. DHEA can be energizing, hence it is best taken in the morning so that it doesn't have too stimulating an effect when you are trying to sleep.

As we've seen, stress hormone imbalance is one of the most common causes of accelerated aging and disease. Restoring a balance between cortisol and DHEA is the first important step in creating a more youthful hormone profile.

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